Whoa, sooo not part of the plan!

25 09 2009

 

We’ve all been there. The time is the same as yesterday, the situation is the same as yesterday, the temprature, television placement, air temperature, humidity, mood, ambiance…… everything is the same as yesterday so its only normal that we would be having the same breakfast/lunch as yesterday. I mean… thats what I planned for and thats what im going to do. This is a problem when you have a father who wants to live life my the seat of his pants constantly and is, in turn, where i find myself right now. I had the oats on the stove and the coffee in the pot. Im about to start cutting up the fruit to make sure i get the nutrients i need today. Then down comes papa asking me to get some vegan pizza i mentioned i found last week. Apparently e has been craving some pizza for a while and has been waiting for me to go with him. Immediately, the sirens go off and the reaction to say no filled my head.

Then he asks me to go see Cloudy, With a chance of meatballs 3D. ‘But i was going to go to the gym later!!!” Friday is a workout day… lower body. Followed by two days of rest with light cardio if im feeling up to it, then it starts over again the next week. How could i switch a workout for a movie?!!?!?

 

I will let you know after I tear into this bad boy with Dad, and then go and laugh at a three-D movie thats meant for kids. Its about time we started acting like the kid we used to be, and its been more than long enough doing the same thing. Tune in later today readers… update to follow.

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Hearing and Listening

11 08 2009

The two seem to be the same thing, when in fact they are on two totally different sides of the spectrum. I know i have had some bosses throughout my life that I listen to and those that i simply hear. This is the theme for today becase, while gripping with an eating disorder, there is a voice that tells us what to do food-wise. “This has too much fat in it. Your not getting enough protein. This apple is more nutritious than this cookie.” It can be quite frustrating, especially considering that the voice in the background sounds exactly like me sometimes, who taught this bitch to do impressions?!?!

However, today brought a wonderful realization regarding this master of impersonation…. choose to hear and not listen. It started this morning for me with the notion that today was going to be awesome. I took a different way to work, i chewed some gum rather than crunched on tic tacs all morning and… the big one…. TWO bananas this morning for breakfast.

They were sugary and ripe like i like them...

They were sugary and ripe like i like them...

This is something that can seem fairly arbitrary, until you know the constant thinking about bananas and a voice saying: “Too many carbs, not enough protein, too much sugar, other fruit has more nutrients, you can have this and less oatmeal..” <— WHAT ABOUT THIS MAKES SENSE!? The decision was made at work… both naners are going to be eaten for three reasons.

  1. I was craving naners and these sounded awesome
  2. Its not a candy bar or a gallon of ice cream… its a piece of fruit and i would LOVE to meet the guy who got fat from fruit.
  3. Because im awesome and way better than some retarted voice.

MMMMMMM, potassiumRoses are red, violets are blue. One nana is sweet, but sweeter is two. Can you feel the awesomeness!?!?!

The small victory got me in a better mood for some reason. I had a great workout and enjoyed my afternoon just floating out in the pool and taking a leisurely bike ride. Later on the voice tried to make a comeback, as we all know the easiest thing to do after a victory is become complacent (i.e. we had the extra banana earlier… we dont NEED to have such a big lunch) Well, F that! i went through the rest of the day not obsessing and constantly counting. I trusted that i would get what i needed/wanted. Granted there was some yelling going on that was hard to ignore sometimes. But then again, you can hear something and not listen. Who knew taking que from something a five year old does could pay off this late in the game?

The challenge here? Hear the disorder, listen to yourself. The disorder is a PART of the amazing machine that is you and, last time i checked, it takes a lot more to start a car than a fanbelt… it takes the whole damn thing. You are awesome and powerful and we are this way through the strength that comes from God everyday. He wants us to attack the day, remember… we are not guaranteed tomorrow and therefore must take today by the balls and ‘let it rock!’

In other news i speak my testimony tomorrow for a youth group. Im excited and nervous at the same time and dont EXACTLY know what im going to say. Im just gona pray that God will use me as his vessel and speak to me through his word. That being said it is time for some devotion and a one on oe with the pillow. Once again, thanks for reading and know that you are strong, unique and should relish in that each day, and extra banana, was created for you.