Whoa, sooo not part of the plan!

25 09 2009


We’ve all been there. The time is the same as yesterday, the situation is the same as yesterday, the temprature, television placement, air temperature, humidity, mood, ambiance…… everything is the same as yesterday so its only normal that we would be having the same breakfast/lunch as yesterday. I mean… thats what I planned for and thats what im going to do. This is a problem when you have a father who wants to live life my the seat of his pants constantly and is, in turn, where i find myself right now. I had the oats on the stove and the coffee in the pot. Im about to start cutting up the fruit to make sure i get the nutrients i need today. Then down comes papa asking me to get some vegan pizza i mentioned i found last week. Apparently e has been craving some pizza for a while and has been waiting for me to go with him. Immediately, the sirens go off and the reaction to say no filled my head.

Then he asks me to go see Cloudy, With a chance of meatballs 3D. ‘But i was going to go to the gym later!!!” Friday is a workout day… lower body. Followed by two days of rest with light cardio if im feeling up to it, then it starts over again the next week. How could i switch a workout for a movie?!!?!?


I will let you know after I tear into this bad boy with Dad, and then go and laugh at a three-D movie thats meant for kids. Its about time we started acting like the kid we used to be, and its been more than long enough doing the same thing. Tune in later today readers… update to follow.


Yeah… a donkey.

3 09 2009

Oh man… it is early. Im talking: “The vampires are still out on the town” early. Normally, this hour of the morn would put me in a lull that would rival the demanor of the Zombies from ‘Dawn of the Dead’… but not today. Today I am energized, despite getting even less sleep last night than usual. Why, you ask? Well, the formula for this one is

New Church Group + Awesome Message = Seize the Day!

Let me explain…… no, too much, let me sum up (Princess Bride anyone?) Okay, so last night i decided to throw the ‘routine’ in the blender and go to a late Wednesday service i had  never been to before, one geared towards my age gorup and promised to be FILLED with people i dont know too well. Not only that, but it landed right when i normally have a little dinner (*gasp*). Howev-sies, in spite of all these breaks in the a typical ‘man-day’ I proceeded to grab up my bible and head to the service… and am I glad I did!

The speaker introduced the message as being comfortable with our surroundings and what it takes to break out of them, he also touched on why its spiritually beneficial to do such things. Now, this is selfish, but when I go to church i know im going to hear something i need… i know God has a message on the speakers lips that is going to hit me in some way. Ergo, i listen to the message and apply it to whatever undertakings im going through at the time… in this case the Eating Disorder.

But, this guy is talking about comfort zones. In NO WAY is the disordered state one i would associate with the word comfort… so I was a little doubtful of what I was going to get out of this one. Then…. the good Lord decided to punch me in the face with his ‘boxing glove of righcheousness’ and threw a different angle at me. Predjudice.

When you think predjudice you most likely think: salvery, sufferage, discrimination, etc. I thought the same thing and then realized that everything associated with predjudice is something thats external, something insipid that doesn’t matter at all in the grand scheme of things. It brought me back to being in grade school and being the typical chubby kid (got made fun of a lot). Now, why is it that all these issues (and the majority of society in general) deal with external things like these? Well, my opinion is because it’s easy. It is A LOT easier to judge someone at a glance than to actually weigh and meditate on what concerns their hearts. Now, I dont know about you… but my experience has taught me that the ‘easy way’ is rarely the ‘best way’ to do anything.

The point was then brought up of how God uses people to fulfill His message and purposes and how extreme they are from the societal norm. The first people that came to mind were: tax collectors, hookers, samaritans, deserters, theives and a talking donkey in the old testement.

Yeah….. a donkey. (<– see what I did there?)

Right then I knew things were getting serious for me, cause i shifted in my chair a bit.. and the severe lack-of-ass syndrome makesit hard for me to find a comfortable pose-ish. Men… how much time have we spent focussing on the look of a man rather than the heart? Furthermore, and this is hard, how many times do we judge someone by the sight of them rather than getting to know them. I know im guilty of three times just today… having barely left the house. Granted, its not all out fault. The way the media exposes children to topics of obesity, clear skin, values, habits, and other definitions of ‘good’ is almost criminal. This is why recovery i so hard, since were pounded over and over by these ideas that are only skin deep and meaningless.

The remedy? The first is to find your value beyond what the mirror says, past what strangers may whisper and even what those close to you might think every now and again. No more of this: “I feel like im eating SOOO much right now!” or “im going to get fat and have no friends.” HELLO!?!?! If they stuck with you this far….. im pretty sure your set in the friends department. Speaking of companionship…

… Second thing: God be anywhere, see anything, know anything… so wouldn’t it make sense that he can SEE anything? Walk throughout the day knowing that He doesn’t care if your short, fat, have acne, hunchbacked, french… he loves you for your heart. I mean, He loved you enough to keep you alive through trenches of an ating disorder and this love doesn’t stop there. So, i dont know about you; but i choose to focus on THAT. Which makes me wanna eat up, skip the gym for a while, get stronger and return the favor to my loving father by being ready to serve his purpose for me when it comes.

Speaking of Eating.....

Speaking of Eating.....

Roasted veggies and refried bean wrap with a japansese apple pear and some carrot-y goodness.  (decided to post a little man-food every now and again.) You wanna know what tasted the best about this meal? Not counting a friggin thing and having what I wanted…. now im full and happy. A feeling you all deserve…… happy.

But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things human beings look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” (1 Sam 16:1)